Happy St Patrick’s Day!

Happy St Patrick’s Day loyal subjects.

I didn’t bother going to the parades today, too much attention on people who aren’t me. Instead, I went to visit family in the countryside. I stopped at my great grandmothers house to have a chat with her dog Sally. My latest project involves finding the perfect live transport for when I’m heading up military displays. I tried horsies, too big. Moo cows don’t move fast enough. Squirrels won’t stand still long enough. So today I tried dogs. It may just work but not with Sally. She just sat still and tried to sniff me. Not surprising as I smell absolutely divine (Eau de Oink available soon, only €500 per bottle, what a bargain!). Anyway, I didn’t look regal and intimidating enough. Tomorrow I’m going to try putting reins on a chicken, I’ll let you know how it goes.

I’ve started my Savings towards my evil lair too today. I checked my dad’s Lottery ticket and as usual, I won. A whole €5 is now in my possession! I’ll put it with the lost change I collected from everyone’s pockets earlier. Not long now until I can start scouting out abandoned dormant volcanoes in the Caribbean!

I’m off to liberate some chocolate from the sweetie press, over and out!

Oink xxx

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