Two weeks ago I got to go to one of my favourite cities for a few days, London. It’s such a great city that I’ve decided to honour it by renaming it after me. Oinkdon. I think it has a good ring to it. I’ll be writing a few blogs about it but I’m going to start with one of the best buildings ever, the Tower of London. I mean Oinkdon. The Tower of Oinkdon.
I went to visit the Tower with my Mummy and Ted but I really only brought them so that they could take photos of me. I was meant to be wearing my Beefeater costume so that I could fit in properly but Mummy forgot to pack it…. I was so disappointed, I had to wear my red and black hoodie so at least I got the colours right. I arrived in style, by riverboat. I heard that’s the way the king used to arrive so I had to go that way because any day now I’m going to be declared King of the Universe. Here I am outside the Tower, I couldn’t wait to get inside!
I got a guided tour from one of the Beefeaters so that I would know my way around when I took control. Other people tagged along too but I’m not sure why. They were probably just following me because I’m so great but I’m a little bit worried that they know where all the guns are now and also where all the treasure is kept… I’ll have to move it once I get my set of keys. After the tour I had a good look around on my own and examined all the important places. The next photo shows me examining the one that I will be using most. The Traitor’s Gate. For all the people who disobey me 😀 I might be sending Ted through it first, he followed me around shaking his head and sighing a lot while I was taking notes. He doesn’t seem to believe that it’s my tower now.
I also got to try out some of the cool defense features like this portcullis. I wanted to drop it on the heads of some tourists but Ted but a lock on it so it wouldn’t move 🙁
When I get my own set of armour made he won’t be able to stop me from doing anything ever again. I’m getting this set customised to my exact size but I might get some spikes added to it… Also, I need to teach my mother how to use a camera properly…
One of the really great things about the Tower of Oinkdon (apart from the treasure, that’s definitely the most awesome part) is the ravens. Six of them have to live there all the time because if they fly away, the Tower will be taken over or fall down or something like that. Well I don’t want the Tower to fall down but I do want to take it over so I decided to have a good chat with the ravens. They didn’t answer me so I took that to mean that they liked my plan and would be happy to see me crowned king there. I decided to call this one Jim-Bob. He didn’t seem to mind.
I really wanted to stay in the Tower forever, there was so much to see and do. But then Mummy reminded me that there were other things in London/Oinkdon that required my attention. Like the giant battleship parked outside my Tower. I’m not sure that it’s going to fit through the water gate at the Tower so I’ll have to divide my time between the two. They both have guns so I’m happy 🙂