Present time!

So as most of my loyal followers know, I’m getting a new minion in a few weeks time. At first I wasn’t terribly amused because my parents had neglected to consult me properly before bringing a ‘baby’ into the house but, over time, I’ve decided that it will be a good thing. I have been experimenting with henchmen for years and nothing seems to be working out (Monkey ran away, Dragon won’t fly for me, Ted keeps telling me to shut up…). The problem is obviously nothing to do with me, I just need to get my hands on them very very early. So I have been playing my manifesto to Baby at night and it’s training is coming along nicely. It kicks Mummy on command and the other day I even got it to kick Daddy in the head when he was trying to listen to it! I will of course be at the hospital when it gets parole to greet it properly and give it it’s ‘Oink Rules’ membership pack. I tried to post that to the baby a few weeks ago but it got returned, An Post need lessons in how to do registered post properly…

Baby might be coming out around my birthday. This is good because I can then claim it as my present. Because I’m so incredibly important, presents have already started arriving for me. I’m not quite sure what to do with some of them (why would I need bottles? They don’t seem to have champagne in them…) but others are proving useful. Such as my new beds for upstairs and downstairs so I can relax in style!



I’m really enjoying my birthday two months, it’s such a shame I didn’t get this treatment last year too. I shall lodge a formal complaint with my staff!






3 responses to “Present time!”

  1. Snow Avatar

    Do you think you’ll need a cousin for the bed upstairs??

    1. Oink Avatar

      Nope, I need it all for myself, I need lots of wiggle room. And it’s handy for convening meetings in 😀

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