Ducks are stoopid

Ever since I got my new duck outfit I’ve been planning how best to use it. I thought about making a duck themed music video but that would be a lot of effort. And Mummy says I’m a lazy little creature (probably the first time she’s been right in AGES!). I then thought about launching a modeling career but the duck hood hides my great looks too much. So I decided to go back to basics. Try to expand my army. With ducks.

So I got my parents to take me to the park (it’s too far to walk, it takes a whole 2 minutes!). The plan was for the ducks to accept me as one of their own (though obviously better) and to elect me king immediately. I would then explain my plans for world domination to them and they would be delighted to follow me. I even changed my name to Quacky and spent ages practicing duck noises so I’d fit in.

It didn’t really go to plan…

Things started ok, I got up really close and started to quack.


And then things went wrong. They all started quacking, jumped into the water and swam away! I have no idea why but I think maybe it’s because they saw my parents, my Daddy is really tall so that might have scared them off. It definitely wasn’t a flaw in my plan, my plans are always ingenious… I printed out a certificate from the Internet that confirms it, I have a full Doctorate in evil planning from the Grand Supreme University of Oink!


Right, back to the drawing board.

Oink xxx






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