Author: Oink
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Wanted : Solicitor specialising in emancipation cases
I have an urgent need for a professional who can speedily arrange my emancipation from my mother. They must be completely unscrupulous and willing to bend the truth whatever way I see fit. They must also be willing to work for peanuts. I can stretch to a daily rate of two… The reason for this? […]
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Christmas is coming and the reindeer are getting fat…
Today I took my little brother to the Santa Train run by the Waterford and Suir Valley Railway. An undercover mission, obviously. He distracted Santa and the elves while I loaded up my tank with all the other presents. Unfortunately, my tank couldn’t take the weight so I had to borrow some reindeer to pull […]
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Halloween Parade
I’m off on a recruiting mission today. My little brother is having his Halloween Parade at crèche so I’ve decided to go along and give the kids something to really think about by handing out copies of my manifesto. I have a chauffeur (in a tank of course) ordered for 11am, I should have them […]
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Happy Birthday Snow
My little brother had his birthday today. It was fairly boring apart from two things. One was cake. Obviously. The other was Snow coming to visit me. It was her birthday on Valentines Day so I got her a present of some chocolates cos I heard my Dad say that girls like chocolate. I’d like […]
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My Christmas Present
Loyal Followers, I apologise for my absence over the past few months. Let it be known that I have sacked my editor (who was useless anyway) and I have hired Elmo to be my new personal assistant. He will now be doing the boring typing bits for me while I lie back, eat peeled grapes […]
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Who is that handsome stranger?
My henchman Garrie got a wig to try his keep his skeletal head warm. Once I stopped laughing I started to see the possibilities…disguise! All I need now is sunglasses and I should be able to go out for dinner without being constantly bothered by people looking for my autograph. On receipts, police statements, incident […]
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Oink merchandise now available
I am finally getting the recognition that I deserve! I was passing through Penneys a few weeks ago (Mum was looking for boring clothes for herself and my boring little brother) and I spotted something wonderful. Socks with my name and face on them! Now I’m not quite sure why the powers that be chose […]
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My Golden Egg
Today I was bored, so I decided to root through all the presses in the house to find something entertaining. After emptying all the wardrobes onto the floor, I moved on to the kitchen where I had great fun throwing glass jars about. Until I found a big box at the back of the highest […]
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Hospital fun
I really have been much too busy lately to update my blog. Today I’m sitting in the hospital waiting for my little brother to have a check up and it reminded me of my awesome hospital stay back in February. So I thought you might all like to hear about it. I always heard that […]
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My little brother
I’ve had a very busy few weeks. It was my birthday last week (I’m 4 now, very mature) but my birthday present arrived early. I got a new little brother! I’m going to love him and train him and use him as a distraction and/or weapon! Here are some of the things I’ll be using […]