Category: Uncategorized

  • My new minions

    I have sooo much to update my loyal followers on that it’s hard to choose what topic to start with. The biggest news is that I’m a big brother now so lots of people are starting to call to our house with presents for me (Mum, Dad and Baby seem to think it’s somehow about […]

  • Present time!

    So as most of my loyal followers know, I’m getting a new minion in a few weeks time. At first I wasn’t terribly amused because my parents had neglected to consult me properly before bringing a ‘baby’ into the house but, over time, I’ve decided that it will be a good thing. I have been […]

  • Santa loves me!

    I’ve been extremely well behaved for the last few weeks so yesterday, I got to go visit Santa! He was lovely, he listened to everything that I had to say and he didn’t say no when I asked for a dragon so fingers crossed! I also got to see my friend Snow last night and […]

  • This is how I roll…

    Just a quick update for you all. Last week, I made a new friend. I chose this new friend very carefully and for the in no way selfish reason that he has his own car and is willing to be my taxi driver (also because he never remembers to charge). His name is Noddy and […]

  • Halloween again

    As you all know, Halloween is my favourite time of the year (apart from Christmas and my birthday). I get to spend weeks planning the festivities and preparing my costume. I thought long and hard and decided that this year, I needed a costume that would make a profit. So I went as Santa and […]

  • I do like my famous friends!

    Hi all, It’s a while since I had time to blog, I’ve been far too busy hanging out with cool people and also plotting how to get myself some golden shoes so that I don’t look out of place with them. You see, I only hang out with celebrities now. I recently brought my parents […]

  • Circus Oinkimus (Featuring Garzan the Strongman)

    Greetings puny humans! I have wonderful news for you all. As of last week, I own my own circus! I have graciously agreed to let them continue to travel around the world in order to spread the word of Oink through the media of acrobatics and interpretive dance. It was the least I could do, […]

  • Life is so much better when you have a partner in crime (literally)

    Greetings loyal subjects, I come to you today with good news. I have finally found my perfect partner in crime (I wanted to say henchman but he said no). While General Snow is still my number one, she’s rather better at planning than brute force so I needed someone who would blindly obey orders to […]

  • My most important role yet

    Greetings dear followers. I have a very important announcement to make. In a few months time I will be undertaking my most important role yet. I’m going to be a big brother!!!!! I am currently undergoing serious training for this new position. I have conducted lots of research and have discovered that it should be […]

  • Ted: It’s a tough job but someone’s got to do it!

    Hi All, Oink seems to have forgotten that he has a blog (he’s busy with other things that he will probably inform you about in a few weeks time if he isn’t in prison by then…) so I’ve decided to let you know what I’ve been up to this week. My Daddy spends every second […]